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Only, The Lonely
By Madonna Dries Christensen
We all lapse into imperfect verbal grammar in our daily
lives. We hem and haw, stutter and stammer, stumble and mumble, I mean, like, we dangle participles and, you know, umm, er,
we end sentences in prepositions. But those who write and speak for a living should set an example with correct usage.
The
simple word only is perhaps the most abused word in our language. Only is regularly misplaced by news anchors and reporters,
by journalists in highly-regarded periodicals, by authors in best-selling books, in comic strips, company logos, television
commercials, and in writing magazines and Web sites used as learning tools by fledgling writers.
During the aftermath
of 9/11, a CNN reporter explaining Osama bin Laden's reaction to the attack on the World Trade Center, said, "Bin laden only
thought two floors would come down."
That's the only thing he thought? I don't think so. Bin laden thought only two
floors would come down. Now we're talking about the number of floors, not how many thoughts bin Laden had.
In Patricia
T. O'Conner's grammar book, "Woe Is I," she instructs, "To put only in its place, make sure it goes right before the word
or phrase you want to single out."
For example, in this sentence, "Judy only wears shorts in the house," the writer
most likely means to convey that Judy does not wear shorts in public. But it sounds as if the only clothing Judy wears in
the house is shorts (not that there's anything wrong with that; it's her house). "Judy wears shorts only in the house," tells
a different story.
Incorrect: I only need a minute of your time.
Correct: I need only a minute
of your time.
Incorrect: She was only gone for ten minutes.
Correct: She was gone for only ten
minutes.
Incorrect: I've only been on one date with him.
Correct: I've been on only one date
with him.
The same rule applies to the words just and even.
Incorrect: I just need a minute of your time.
Correct: I need just a minute of your time.
Incorrect: In bowling this year, I even beat our
top bowler.
Correct: In bowling this year, I beat even our top bowler.
You might scoff and ask:
What does it matter? In his book, The Writer's Art, James J. Kilpatrick advised, "On the matter of the misplaced only, I am
as crotchety as an old bear with a thorn in his paw. The accurate location of only adds punch, precision, and clarity. As
writers, we ought to fuss incessantly about such things, for fussing is one of those things that, cheerfully pursued, help
us master our trade."
We not only master our trade, we set a good example. The next time you type the word only (just,
even), stop, look, and listen. Is only in the proper place? If not, it will take only a few seconds to rearrange the sentence.
Then stop, look, and listen, again. Now you've given that simple word the clout it deserves.
(Three times
nominated for the Pushcart Prize, Madonna Dries Christensen is the author of "Swinging Sisters" and "Masquerade: The Swindler
Who Conned J. Edgar Hoover.")
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