Said Is Not A Four-Letter Word

by Madonna Dries Christensen

Some writers try so hard to avoid using the word “said” in attribution that one might think it’s an unspeakable four-letter word. In the bestselling biography, “Eleni” (Random House 1983), author Nicholas Gage's excessive use of synonyms for “said” distracted me from the compelling story. I found myself laughing, although it's not a humorous story. 

Rarely in this nearly 500 page book did the characters “say” anything. They advised, announced, begged, bellowed, blurted out, burst out, charged, chirped solemnly (an oxymoron), chortled, chuckled, complained, croaked, crooned, crowed, declared, demanded, dictated, elaborated, exploded, exulted, fretted, fumed, gasped, glowered, hissed, implored, interjected, intoned, jeered, laughed, marveled, moaned, mourned, ordered, panted, persisted, pleaded, plunged on, prompted, quavered, rang out, reminded, retorted, scoffed, screamed, shrilled, snarled, snapped, spat, temporized, thundered, trilled, trumpeted, uttered, ventured, wailed, whined, whimpered, and yelled.

As humorist Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up. And that’s only a partial list; there were many others. It’s as if the author had a thesaurus at his elbow and flipped to a new page each time he wrote a paragraph or two. When “said” was used, he tacked on adverbs: harshly, wearily, heatedly, excitedly, jubilantly…  In addition to the forceful attributions, much of the dialogue was punctuated with exclamation points. The characters in this book exhausted me with their enthusiasm.   

Gage, a former investigative reporter for the New York Times, told a fascinating story, but he weakened it by hitting readers over the head with a litany of tiresome words. He used the same technique in his sequel, “A Place For Us” (Houghton Mifflin, 1989). Perhaps he wanted to break away from the confines of journalism and be creative. If so, his editors should have put a stop to his notion that attribution abuse is creative. An occasional variance from “said” is to be expected, but writers should remember that “said” is usually the best choice. Readers are accustomed to he said/she said and glide right over it, while a proliferation of synonyms leap off the page and distract from the story's flow.    

Writers should also avoid the use of attributions such as: "You look pretty tonight," he winked. One cannot wink, laugh, or smile a sentence. If you want the character to wink when he speaks, try: Winking at his wife as she came down the stairs, he said, "You look fabulous tonight."

Keep attribution simple, and show rather than tell. For instance: John crossed his arms and glared at his teenaged son. "Derek, I've had enough of your bad behavior. Consider yourself grounded for a week." Readers know without the tag "he said" that John has spoken. They know by John’s body language and without exclamation points that John is upset and that he spoke with authority.

If dialogue is weak, fancy synonyms, adverbs, and exclamation points won't fix the problem. Strengthen the message and let your character deliver it without fanfare.